January: Briella Tonsillectomy and Gianna's Top Teeth

Briella:                                     

 

You began your new year of 2015 with an appointment with an ENT (ear, nose, throat specialist).

Our suspicions were confirmed at that appointment. Your inability to breathe out of your nose is from swollen adenoids and tonsils. You had your tonsillectomy on Tuesday, January 27th and today it is Thursday, January 29th and you absolutely amaze me with your attitude and disposition during it all. We were told you would cry and carry on when it was time to go back to the surgery room, but when the nurse asked to carry you into the room, you confidently told her, "I want to walk." and sure enough, you walked yourself right into that room. 

After surgery, the anesthesiologist said you were very brave and never cried back in the surgery room and you fell asleep like a pro. He said you scored a perfect 10. Briella, you haven't complained at all during this whole process. You are allowed to complain, but you don't. You are 'weepy' in your disposition with Daddy during the night and when you first wake up, but once you get your medicine in you, you perk right up and apologize for it right afterward. 

Your biggest hang up with the surgery was the IV that was in your arm and your recovery hangups are poor sleep from pain and not eating--not even popsicles or ice cream. What kid turns up the 'all you can eat buffet' of popsicles and ice cream? You do! Funny enough, though, you asked for just about every single food item you can't eat today: chips, crackers, carrot sticks, and then you said "I have an idea, how about bacon?" You have some very adult-like taste buds from the way we've been feeding you for all of these years. I can see the sad, pitiful look of pain in your eyes during your recovery, but yet, you don't complain. You are such a strong, tough, and brave young lady. You haven't changed in that sense because you have been this way since the day you were born. 

Prayers and hugs goodbye with Papa and Nonna before leaving for your surgery at 6:30am. How nice of them to drive all the way from Ohio just to be here to make sure you were safe and 'ok' after your surgery. They sure do love you and Gianna.

A collage of some of the pictures from the day

I didn't know that Nonna was taking this picture and the pictures below. This picture just about breaks my heart because this is the look of pain that I've been seeing in your eyes since your surgery. I hate seeing you in pain like this. 

Briella, you had Daddy up very early every morning of your tonsillectomy (and me every 2 hours through the night) and this was day 5 post op recovery afternoon nap on Superbowl Sunday that you both took together. Gianna and I had to go upstairs at 5:00 o'clock to wake you both up. 

Daddy and I didn't want you to have to go through such an experience, but I am so happy to report that it's only been two days since your surgery and you are breathing 'normal', you sound normal when you sleep, and even though you are hardly eating at all, you don't sound like a farm animal when you do eat. You can breathe 'normal' again and the weirdest thing is your voice is different. You had a very raspy, hoarse, deep voice and now you have this sweet, gentle little voice. It's adorable. 

Here you are recovering from your surgery and you are helping me and still trying to please me. There are so many things that you do on a daily basis, without my asking you, because you see me doing them and you want to help me out. When Gianna has a poo diaper, you take the wrapped diaper downstairs and put it in the garage (without me asking you to do it, no less!) When we are clearing the dishwasher, you make sure the tablet is put in it. When something it out of place, you make sure to put it in it's place. You clean your kitchen because you see me cleaning our kitchen. You take out your vacuum from the closet because, "It's time to clean the house." as you say and you take your plate to the sink. These are all things you are doing during your tonsillectomy recovery and I have to keep telling you to sit down and rest. There's no keeping you down. You remind me of myself in that way. I guess you are more like me than I realize. 

Your desire to please me continues to grow and you get the saddest look on your face when I have to reprimand you. Your eyes look as sad as a puppy dog. I'll be scolding you all while feeling absolutely terrible while doing it. What's worse is when I'm done and you say, without my prompting, "Mommy, I'm so sorry I upset you or Mommy, I'm so sorry I disappointed you." Stab my heart with a knife...but I also know you are learning lessons and you are understanding your conscious and ability to self analyze; which, at 3.25 years old is pretty incredible skill. 

You had the Doctor, nurses, and anesthesiologists wrapped around their fingers during your tonsillectomy. There wasn't one staff member who didn't talk about how sweet, cute, and kind you were. There was a little boy who also had the same surgery, but I kept watching how they were all dotting on you so much more and I'm not sure why, but you have a way of attracting people. Even before your surgery, in the waiting room, there was an elderly couple who was smiling and nudging each other with every thing you said and did. You are very charming in that way.

You sure do say and do the sweetest things because the nurse told me that you were going to hate her after it was all done and over with, but she got the surprise of her career. We were packing up to leave and you looked at her and leaned in for a hug saying, "Thank you for taking good care of me. I'll come back to visit you soon." She looked stunned and started getting misty eyed when she began hugging you saying, "Aren't you the sweetest thing ever. You come back to see me anytime." Then you told me and Daddy that, "I can't wait to come back and have surgery again." 

Just today, you HAD to bring me up some play food when we went upstairs because, "I don't want you to get hungry, Mama". You've begun calling me "Mama" ever since watching a video of yourself calling me Mama as a baby. You are trying to please me at every turn saying, "Yes, Mama." Okay, Mama." "I love you, Mama." "You take care of me, Mama."

Your behavior, obedience, and respect this month has been impeccable. Stellar. Award winning. I can't even begin to tell you how much I am watching your responsible nature and maturity unfold right before my very eyes. Now all it takes is giving you a verbal warning that you will go to time out if you don't stop and you stop. Time out hurts your feelings now. You get to earn up to 1 hour of iPad time a day for various things; usually, taking a nap since that is something you need but you'd rather not do (which, by the way, I don't think you got to use your iPad the entire month of November because you weren't napping and not behaving your 'best'). Anyway, I always set the timer on the iPad. Well, if I don't set the timer you are sure to tell me, "Mommy, you didn't set the timer!" and when the timer goes off, you almost always say, "Uh oh, the timer went off." as you shut off the iPad. Setting timers seems to be something that regulates you because when the timer goes off, you really respect that. I love watching this responsibility of yours come to fruition, along with your self-regulating nature that is developing as well. Oh, and your new protection and concern for Gianna. If she even looks like she is heading toward something she shouldn't touch or put in her mouth, you immediately begin telling her, "Gianna, that's a no. Gianna that's gonna hurt you. Mommy, Mommy, look at Gianna!" The best was when I was blending up my kefir smoothie during her nap and you said, "Mama, you're gonna wake Gianna up. Mama, you're being loud and you're gonna wake up Gianna. If you wake up Gianna there's going to be a consequence." My response, "What will my consequence be?" Briella, you said, 'You'll go to timeout." 

Another funny thing you said was when I put my morning robe on over top my clothes because I was so cold. You looked at me and said, "Mama, you aren't allowed to wear your pajamas all day." hahahaha. You say so many funny things like that every day that I wish I had a pen and paper around to write it all down, but sadly, I forget so much of it once the moment is gone. 

To say that you are going to have the "First child's syndrome" is probably an understatement. You have completely settled into the role. It's most definitely official. You take ownership of most any thing or any situation. You are not afraid to speak your mind either. I said something that upset Daddy and he got attitude with me today and you quickly and sharply told him, "Don't yell at Mommy, Daddy. Don't be mean to her. That's not nice, Daddy." Even though you are very much a Daddy's girl, this is not the first time I've seen you defend me. I honestly get a little choked up every time you do it because you remind me, in those moments, that you really do love me as much as you love your Daddy even though you just choose to show me in a different kind of way and that's ok. You will often sneak me kisses and hugs at the most random moments and it's just the sweetest thing. You love to share your food and make sure anyone around you is taken care of at all times. You are really thoughtful that way.

 Gianna, you have the most genuine smile.

 Playtime with Daddy is a favorite pastime. 

 Briella, you are such a goof!

 Peekaboo & hugs

 Photo shoot before Briella's January 5th ENT appointment. 

 Gianna pictures after the ENT appointment. 

 Gianna, you were sick in these pictures and I hate when either of you girls are sick. 

 Gianna "helping" me do laundry.

 Gianna, you are always smiling at Briella like this. You adore her.

 Nothing makes me more happy than seeing you girls play with each other except when Briella hugs Gianna. Then, my heart just about melts. 

 Gianna, you love mine and Briella's hair and you always go for it...

 Thankfully, Briella is a good sport about it. 

 Watching Psalty together.

 Morning time pajama fun.

 Good eats and good eaters.

 Fun times.

 Watching Psalty, of course, because it's Mommy's dinner time 'life saver' movie.

 My little "Mommy's girl" cuddling with me.

 Driving around in your cars is one of your favorite activity to do with each other.

 Bedtime cuddles and pictures for Daddy on his long trip to Chicago this particular week.

 Morning photos for Daddy on the same Chicago trip.

 Grocery shopping with my favorite girls. You both were PERFECTLY behaved during this trip, as with most all the trips we take together. 

 Gianna's first time pulling herself up on the couch this particular morning. This was a week before your tonsillectomy, Briella, and you were sick with a fever. You were always sick before your surgery.

 Briella, you haven't been out to eat at a restaurant since October 2013...oh my goodness, your Daddy and I could hardly believe it had been that long. So, here you are in January of 2015 eating at a 'restaurant' (as you called it) for the first time in a year and a half and Gianna, this was your first ever time eating at a restaurant. It's sad that their french fries are the only thing we've remotely found to be 'safe' for you to eat, but you don't seem to mind. Ever since we took you there, you ask to go there all of the time now.

 Gianna, here you are eating your first restaurant food. Believe it or not, you didn't eat much of the fries but wanted to gnaw on a straw instead.

 A before church photo shoot. Briella, look at your face...you're so silly.

 Your handsome Daddy and my littlest baby.

This moment was precious. Briella, you took Gianna's hands and were dancing with her.

 

 And then the multitude of hugs you kept giving her on this day was extra sweet. You love her every day, but somedays you REALLY show it a lot more than others. 

 The first day you took 2 steps with your push walker. 

 Gianna, look at how cute you are in your diaper and nothing else.

 Another week of Daddy traveling and me taking pictures for him. Gianna, you pulled yourself up on my legs while I was putting on my make up.

 I dropped Briella off at school and took Gianna with me to Briella's pre surgery consult appointment. Gianna, you slept through most of the appointment and then we went to Whole Foods and the pharmacy afterward. We were gone for a little over 3 hours and you were sooooo well behaved. The same man at Whole Foods stopped me twice to tell me how sweet and adorable you were. 

 Yes, you fell asleep like this....

 And then we went outside to swing afterward. 

"Mommy will you take a picture of me?"

Pictures and more pictures from the "Nonnarazzi" after church during their visit for Briella's tonsillectomy.

 Nonna was determined to get a picture of all three of us smiling for the camera...

 ...and, it was an A for effort.

Lots and lots of hours are spent playing in this room on a daily basis. Gianna, this is where you took your first push walker steps and where you and Briella play together all of the time. 

 Quick run to Whole Foods to get Briella's popsicles for her surgery.

 One of Gianna's favorite food: noodles. 

 Briella, you hardly ate for a week after your surgery, but you had such cabin fever that you would tell us you wanted Five Guys fries so we took you there twice after your surgery and while you hardly actually ate the fries, you had fun being out of the house. 

 Having fun practicing walking and Briella healing after her surgery. 

Rolling the ball to each other is so much fun.

Gianna:
Well, you began the first day of 2015 with a fever. It was so sad (and scary) to see you sick. I know fevers aren't 'bad', but they just seem more worrisome to me because you are still so little. I guess it doesn't help that a fever usually is the precursor to an illness so the 'waiting it out' part is tough. Because the illness could be a simple cold or it could be something much worse. Thankfully, it wasn't an incredibly severe sickness in the sense that you needed medication or hospitalization, but it was a L-OOOO-N-G sickness of runny nose, coughing, poor appetite, and a week of sleeplessness for you. I hate seeing you sick!

Milestones:
Gianna, you are so ready to be just like your big sister. You have a sparkle in your eye whenever she's around. When she plays with you, you are on top of the world. You are her shadow wherever and whenever you can. When she laughs, you laugh. When she talks, you stop and listen. When she kisses or hugs you, you have the biggest smile on your face and you will squeal with happiness. She seems to inspire you because you are so determined to do whatever she is doing and your motivation always amazes me. 

 Racing their push walkers

 

Toward the end of last month, you were crawling and now, at the end of this month, you prefer standing up wherever you are at, cruising furniture, pulling up on anything-including my legs- just to stand, taking steps with your push walker, racing around the house in your Ferrari walker, and eating just about anything we put on your high chair tray. Your appetite is extremely good. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that you can out-eat your sister most any meal and sometimes you even out eat me at meals. And you don't like to be fed unless it's absolutely necessary, like something such as milk/cereal. You much prefer to feed yourself and you will block your mouth unless we put it on your tray for you to do it yourself. You are a fast eater too. When you are hungry, watch out because your food will be inhaled. I love it, I love your appetite, and I love your excitement to try new foods.

You are eating foods that I never imagined an 8 month old to eat, but hey, you want it. You will smack your hands on your tray if we are eating food on our plates that you want. Just today, you ate meat loaf. Your favorite foods continue to be soft noodles that you can pick up, eggs, potatoes, green beans, and recently, oranges and strawberries. It's almost weird that we may have used your baby food processor for about 6 weeks and then you completely transitioned into table food. You are only nursing from one side (I look like a lop sided circus freak, thanks for that--wink, wink) and your 'need' for nursing has really decreased too. You only do it 4-5 times in a 24 hour period. 

When Papa and Nonna watched you during Briella's tonsillectomy, you wouldn't even take a bottle for them. I can't remember the last time you drank a bottle. It's either water from your sippy cup or milk from me. It's hilarious that on the evening of Briella's tonsillectomy day, you went from taking 2-3 steps with your push walker to walking all over the carpet as well as cruising the furniture. It was as though you were saying, "Hey, don't forget about me." You are so confident in crawling and cruising in the bathtub as well. You are so determined to do everything that Briella is doing, even in the water.

You are just a tad bit obsessed with door stops and cords. You race crawl to them and you always succeed with pulling the door stops off the walls. I have to admit, it's becoming a little bit annoying and frustrating because I don't like you gnawing on metal! You've pretty much stopped using, wanting, or needing a pacifier since you have a 'built in' pacifier with your non-stop thumb sucking. You've learned how to climb onto Briella's trampoline and use me or Daddy to climb onto the ottomans in the family room. You are so strong and determined; just like your sister!

You've gotten your two front teeth this month (with your incisors close behind to cut through) and aside from the sleeplessness, you had a great disposition through it all. You still put anything and everything into your mouth. You don't say a lot of recognizable words, but "Mama", "Lela" (Briella) are words you say a lot along with tons of babbles and funny noises and squeals. At your age, Briella was formulating more words but she was just starting to sit up and you've been doing things since 7 months that she wasn't doing until she was almost 11 months old. I like to say that she was (still is!) the talker and you are the walker. 
Your hair is really starting to thicken up all around your head now. You had lost most all of your hair except for a long, thick strip in the front so it's nice to see it all 'leveling' out all around. 

You still have a coconut sensitivity/allergy because I ate one teeny tiny cookie with coconut in it and you had a cheek rash and diarrhea the next day. Coincidence? Not at all. That's what used to happen with you before I cut it out of my diet. It's just crazy how coconut affects you like that. I feel bad that I never knew that in those first months of infancy when I was losing my mind trying to figure out your food sensitivities.

A memory that I want to always remember and treasure is your excited smile, enthusiastic crawl, and high pitched squeal whenever I sit or lay on the floor to play with you. You rush toward me and immediately begin climbing all over me. It's so adorable and lots of fun. You are still so much a Mommy's girl and it does melt my heart. The way you lean for me, smile for me, and look at me is beyond precious. I am more than blessed by your love for me. I also want to remember the most sincere smile that comes over your face every single time you watch your most favorite Psalty movie. Your happiness is contagious. 

Personal Reflections:

Wow, what a month! It felt like a short eternity waiting on Briella's surgery to finally come around. The anxiousness of the procedure was not fun at all beginning with the appointment on January 3rd. Then the countless phone calls about her NICU past and getting all of her records transferred for the surgery. This was the first time since the NICU that she has been intubated and we couldn't help but be concerned about any side effects and risks from it. As always, God is good and lots of prayer later, she did tremendously.

I remember my heart beginning to race and flutter as I watched her walk away for the operating room, but the pride that overcame me watching her confidence and strength to march into her own surgery was something that brings tears to my eyes. How did our little girl become so brave and such a leader? I'm so encouraged to see such a marked transformation in her breathing in just a few days after surgery. I'm so excited for her quality of life to get better and better each new day. I absolutely hated and dreaded the thought of her having to go through such an ordeal, but I also knew she is such a strong fighter that she was going to push through it better than we could ever imagine.  

Briella's recovery nurse was such a sweet woman. She was constantly complimenting me and Jim for our parenting skills as well as telling us how lucky Briella is to have parents like us and I remember feeling undeserving for such compliments, but also feeling so sad to think that what she sees us doing for our child is not 'normal' as she put it. Are you serious? Loving our girls comes so naturally to us that I can't imagine it not coming natural to any other parents out there, but I guess it doesn't? It makes me sad to think that. I sure hope our girls feel as loved as we feel for them even though my goal in life is to spoil you with love, but not spoil you with things. 

Sometimes love is saying, NO. You aren't always going to get everything you want and trust me, someday you'll thank me for it. Sometimes love is setting boundaries. You aren't always going to get to watch or do the things your friends are doing. Once again, someday you'll thank me for it. Sometimes love is not getting something we want because learning sacrifice teaches us to live more appreciatively. If I could write down all of my life lessons that I've learned and continue to learn, then I'd be writing books. All I can say is that I hope one day you learn to trust me and respect me enough to take my advice. 

It seems odd to write to you girls in the present tense because, right now, you are both so little. Briella, you aren't even reading and Gianna, you aren't speaking but in babbles, but yet, one day, you will read all of what I'm writing here. What will you be thinking? I hope you will be happy and proud that I took the time to write to you. I hope that you will ask me questions. I hope that you will tell me your thoughts. I hope this will ignite deep conversations about your hopes, dreams, and about your childhood. 

Just today, Gianna was playing with one of my make up brushes and I said to her, "One day I am going to teach you how to put make up on.  It seems so hard to think that far into the future, but it really as far away as I think it will be." and she continued to gnaw on the brush as I blubbered on about what the future will be like with my girls. I can't wrap my head around what it's going to be like having two girls who can read, write, and form their own thoughts and opinions but I know it's going to be special and I'm going to love it. That's the one thing that is for sure.