November 2, 2020 (I had my eyes dilated earlier at the optometrist and was sitting in the recliner because it was making me dizzy).
Briella: Mommy, do you need anything?
Me: No, I'm okay but thank you.
Briella: A warm-up bear? Some hot water? A whiskey?
Me: A whiskey?!!
Briella: You said it's medicine and that's what they always give people on Little House on the Prairie.
November 10, 2020
(I made hotdogs for dinner. Micah has recently eaten gluten)
Micah: Mommy, can I have one of those things. Umm, you know!
Me: Have what?
Micah: [getting visibly angry and frustrated] YOU KNOW! ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT YOU PUT AROUND YOUR HOTDOG. WHAT'S IT CALLED?
Me: (starting to answer him)
Micah: [interrupts me] You know--A hotdog strap!
December 15 & 16 (two days in a row of this prayer)
Micah: "Dear Yord (Lord), please keep Daddy safe. Please help him not to get in a car accident and don't let him to go to jail."
January 22, 2021
Briella [sweetly admiring me after making them all lunch]
"Mommy, your smile is so bright it knocks off your sunglasses."
***same day***
Gianna (reading to me for her school lesson: "Love your neighbors as you love yourselves."
Gianna read it: "Love your n, nee, neighbors as you love your slaves."
January 23, 2021
[eating dinner together as a family]
Micah: {very seriously but with a smile on his face}
"Mommy, you're a squirrel."
Me: Okay...(thinking, oooookay?)
[a very long delay]
Micah: I mean, you're a fox.
Me: awwww (with chuckling)
January 25, 2021
Briella: (talking to us about her magazine subscription from Grandma Patty)
"These prescriptions (subscriptions 🤣) have been great for all of us!"
January 26, 2021
Micah: "Hey Mom! Look! (moving his eyebrows up and down)
I can see my elbow-brows moving up and down."
February 1, 2021
Micah: "What's that noise?" (Jim was snow blowing)
Gianna: "Let me see...
Oh, it's just Daddy mowing the driveway."
February 3, 2021
(Briella excitedly talking about the next episode of Full House)
Briella: "Uncle Jesse wants another baby. Can a man tell a woman to have a baby? How does a baby go into your belly? Can you just say for it to happen? Tell me, Mom. How does a baby start in your stomach?
Me: [major hesitation and thinking of the right words]....
.....
Well, first off, your body has to change into a woman. Right now, you're not a woman. When you begin to grow boobies, I mean, breasts--that's the correct word, then you are in the changing stages of becoming a woman. The next phase is when your body starts to have a monthly cycle.
Briella: What are those pads you use for? Is that what you're talking about? What comes out?
Me: The name for what comes out is Mmmmmmm
[she interrupts excitedly]
Briella: MILDEW! Is it mildew?
Me: Well, close, it does start with an M, but it's called your menstrual cycle.
Briella: What comes out? Is it blood?
Me: Umm, well, yes
Briella: (Grossed out face)
February 4, 2021
(teaching the kids the Ten Commandments this week)
Me: "Thou shalt not Covet" Covet means to want what others have.
What do you think that means?
Briella: "It's just like the song, 'Jessie's Girl' when he wanted his girlfriend.
Me: Yes, sadly, that is true.
February 5, 2021
{we've been doing a lot of sledding this week and kids have been building and jumping ramps.
Micah: (talking to Jim) "Daddy! I jumped ten feet on my ramp!"
Jim: 10 feet?! Really?
Micah: YES! 10 feet!
Jim: "If you jumped 10 feet on your ramp, how big do you think my popper is?"
Micah: 2 feet
February 24, 2021
We were all watching Ramona & Beezus and there was a scene that the cat dies.
Micah: {looking around and eyes looked pink}
"I think I'm going to cry!"
(I'm not writing this because I think it's funny but because it showcases his sensitive side and I loved that!)
March 3, 2021
Once again Micah asked for a hotdog "With one of those things on it. You know...what's it called again?... a strap?"
March 8, 2021
Micah (to a friend): "My Daddy trimmed (shot) a raccoon." 🤦
March 9, 2021
[we went bowling on my birthday]
Briella (to Micah as he was heading for his first turn)
"Go Micah, go! Break a bone!" (break a leg?)
Jim: NOOOOOO, don't say that!
March 10, 2021
Gianna: I just don't like a lot of spinach in my omelet. I don't like the way it sits on my taste buds.
Me: Laughing
Micah: Gianna! Gianna? Spinach is good. I like spinach in my omelet. Mom, Gianna doesn't like it on her taste bugs.
*later that night at bedtime Jim was on a trip*
Micah: Mom, I love you. I wish I could marry you,...but Daddy already married you."
March 11, 2021
Briella: "Mom, please have another baby! I want you to have another baby."
Me: "I'm too old."
Briella: "No, you're not."How do you even have a baby anyway? Do you kiss and that's how you have a baby? Cameron says if you kiss for 3 hours straight that you get pregnant."
Me: So, is that why you asked if Daddy and Mommy kissed for more than an hour the night we went to the treehouse cabin?
Briella: Yes. Did you?
March 16, 2021
Micah: "Mom, do you even poop?
Me: Yes
Micah: Really? You do? Are you for real?
5 minutes later...
Micah was heading outside to play with Cam, Cora, and sisters.
Me: "Micah, please be nice."
Micah: Don't worry Mom, I'll be as nice as you." 😍💖🤩
March 19, 2021
Micah: (holding the remote in his hand looking at the TV show)
"Hmmm, there's lots of seasonings (seasons) to pick.
**same day**
Gianna: "So, will my sweet tooth fall out or stay as a baby tooth forever?" 😍
March 30, 2021
“Mommy, I put a little foretell in the story.” (as she shows me her homemade book.)
March 31, 2021
[sitting inside at DQ after Gianna had two teeth extracted for a celebratory lunch]
Worker delivers ice cream sundaes first and none of the kids asked to eat them first, but I looked at Jim and said, "Should we let them first?"
Briella: "Let's do an awkward meal." (she meant to say backward)
April 1, 2021
Micah: "Mom, you are the lightning of my life."
"Mom, I'm the youngest so I will die last. You will die first. I will miss you when you die. I hope you don't die on Christmas. Then you won't get any gifts. (looking at me with concern that he was hurting my feelings saying that he says--) Don't worry, you won't die on Christmas."
April 15, 2021
Micah: Mommy, I love you. Even when I say I don't love you, I love you.
🤔
***same day, different time***
[He and Gianna laid out all our living room blankets and pillows all over the floor which is a huge pet peeve of mine because they have THEIR OWN ROOM {playroom} with pillows and blankets.]
Me: "Please come in here and clean up this mess!"
Micah: I bet you can't clean it better than me?
Me: (thinking to myself I just got played by a 5 year old)
April 19, 2021
[pulling into the parking lot of Mexican restaurant, close to a fitness center.]
Micah: Why is that man walking and not going anywhere?
April 19, 2021
Briella: "How old do you have to be to drink alcohol?"
Me: 21
Briella: "What about champagne? Is that alcohol?
Me: Yes
Briella: "Can I drink champagne?
Me: No
Briella: "Why not? Marsha talks about champagne on the Brady Bunch. Carol even says she'll help."
Me: Briella, there is nooooo way Carol is okay with Marsha drinking champagne on the Brady Bunch. I'm sure that you didn't follow the show from start to finish correctly."
Jim: Explain the whole context
Briella: {explains the show}
Jim/Me: You mean CAMPAIGN, not champagne.
April 20, 2021
{I was sitting on the back porch working on the kids' hymn medley video and out of nowhere Micah says:}
"Hi Mommy, I love you. You are the most beautiful Mommy in the whole world."
Me: (totally shocked and touched). AWWWWwww, Micah, that is so so sweet. I love you so very much my handsome boy.
*****5-10 minutes later****
Micah pushes Gianna. He continues to be mean and he is told to sit on the steps. He proceeds to walk away and not listen to his consequence directions so I walked off the porch and took him by the arm into the house. I told him to go to his room. While stomping upstairs he says,
"Never mind. You are NOT the most beautiful Mommy in the whole world."
April 21, 2021
Gianna: "Mommy, I want to watch the Captain Underpants movie, NOT the tales. You know, the movie, Captain Underpants the EFF-ic tale?
Me: Which one? (asking on purpose to see if she'd say it again)
Gianna: "Captain Underpants, the EFF-ic tale."
Me: 👌
April 24, 2021
Micah: "Mommy, would you want a stroller that has a hotdog on the top with a string on it?
Me: (laughing hysterically) Ummm, no?
Micah: Me neither. That would look weird.
Me: (still laughing) Yes, I agree.
April 29, 2021
{Micah had received a belated birthday card in the mail and I threw away the envelope it came inside of because, well, I didn't think it was a big deal.}
Micah: Where's that, um, thing, um...card box [envelope]?
**later that evening while eating his bedtime snack***
Micah: When I grow up, I am going to buy a vacation house.
Me: That's awesome! That's a great idea.
Micah: But it doesn't matter, you'll be dead by then.
May 4, 2021
Jim: Keep _____ in your prayers. She was having bleeding.
Briella: Where does the bleeding come from?
Me: Your lady parts
Briella: ewwww [with nervous laughter]
Don't you just wear a paddy (pad) for that?
Jim: oh my goodness.
Briella: What? That's what Mommy told me.
Me: A 'paddy'?
It's called a PAD, silly.
***later that night before bed***
Briella [deeply examining my face closely]
Me: {feeling self conscious}
What are you looking at?
Briella: I'm just looking to see if you have chicken feet
Me: I do
Briella: I don't see any
Me: (laughing)
Jim: Walk away, Briella. Say no more
Briella: Oh, wait, now I see it!
Those lines are called chicken feet, right?
May 5, 2021
Micah: What's the name of that restaurant we went to today?
Appleberries?
Me: You're so cute. It's Applebees
May 5, 2021
Kids and I were loudly singing "The Blessing" by Kari Jobe in the car as we were driving. It was a totally touching moment.
Micah sang it as:
May 9, 2021
Jim: Please tell me you didn't leave your crap in the toilet and you flushed it.
Me & Briella (giggling)
Jim: Stop laughing, this isn't funny.
Briella: But Mommy is laughing too!
Me: Sorry...I didn't realize you meant a poop when you said cracker and it made me laugh hearing the word, 'crap'.
Micah: Gianna! Briella left a cracker in the toilet.
***later that evening***
{I was gathering up dirty clothes and realized all of the clean clothes that I had put into Gianna's room this morning were in the dirty clothes.}
Me: Gianna, why are your clean clothes in the dirty hamper?
Gianna: Huh? What do you mean?
Me: The clean clothes that were on your dresser are in the dirty hamper, smelling clean and fresh. You never wore them today so why are they in the dirty hamper?
Gianna: Huh, hmmm, um, well, I didn't know what else to do with them.
Gianna: Huh, hmmm, um, well, I didn't know what else to do with them.
Me: You mean, hang them up or put them in your dressers?
Gianna: Yeah, I didn't know what you wanted me to do with them.
Me: ????????
May 13, 2021
Gianna was reading a Puppies book and when she was supposed to read the word "breed", she would say "brand". The brand (breed) of dog is a_________
May 18, 2021
[Briella and I watching "Bless the Dear Children" Little House movie and Jason was cutting a tree]
Briella: He's really small. Do you think he's vegan?
****later at bedtime***
[talking about marriage and fathers walking their daughters down the aisle]
Briella: I definitely want Daddy to walk me down the aisle and I want you to be one of the ladies next to me. You know, the one right next to me.
[I just about cried.]
May 24, 2021
Briella: Hey Mom, I was thinking that if you homeschool us again next year that you should teach us Italian.
Me: I think someone needs to teach me Italian first. 😉😜
May 24, 2021
Micah: Poop! Poop! Poop!
Me: Why do you keep saying poop?
Micah: Remember that time you said it?
Me: Yes, but what about saying something pretty like flower, rainbow, daffodil?
Micah: Okay!
Daffodil poop, flower poop, rainbow poop
Me: You're too much!
June 1, 2021
(Jim was working on toilets and asked the girls to clean their toilets before he went upstairs)
Gianna: DONE!
Me: Toilet all clean?
Gianna: YEP, I infected it all by myself.
June 23, 2021
Gianna: Mommy, Micah talked about riding the bonker (bumper) cars all morning and then only rode them once.
Me: (wanting her to repeat it again to make sure I heard correctly) He only rode what once?
Gianna: The bonker cars.
July 11, 2021
(Briella talking about being baptized)
Gianna: I want to get baptism-ed too!
July 18, 2021
Gianna: Hurry, go get the fly slapper (swatter).
July 26, 2021 (A Day at Portage Lakes)
Gianna: “Here Mom, let me hold the colder for you because you’re always holding the colder and I want to help you. (the cooler is “the colder” 🤣).
Micah: “Mom! Mommy! It’s a miMMow! Look! A family of miMMow’s are swimming by my feet!” 😆
Briella: “I don’t usually scruff up sandwiches like this, but I’m starving and it’s good!”
August 10, 2021
Gianna: “What’s the name of that ice cream stuff again…Crotch? Crooch? I can't remember. (she was thinking of: crunch coat)
August 11, 2021
Micah: “Can we go to town square to get more of that ice cream?” (Bittingers)
Me: Town square?!
Briella (to the Roto Rooter Tech): “Wednesdays we like to rest our weary wheels after babysitting our cousin on Tuesday’s.”
August 25, 2021
(Gianna reading slowly the root beer label): "MMMMMmmmmm, ROT beer."
Me: [in stitches hysterically laughing]...You mean, ROOT beer?
Micah: "I want to use my tickets to buy some root beard."
September 19, 2021
Briella: "Mommy, come watch how fast I type. Mrs. Kaufman says I'm the fastest typer in class. I type 19 miles per hour!"
September 20, 2021
Daddy: We knew you were a boy, Micah, because they showed us your teeny tiny penis on the ultrasound.
Micah: laughing
Gianna: I had a penis when I was a baby.
[everyone rolling in laughter}
Gianna: I DID! I had a penis. I'll show you (and she runs to show us the picture in her baby book...of her umbilical cord attached to her stomach upon delivery.) 🤦
October 2021
Micah: I don't want Gianna to see my pimples
Me: Your pimples?
Micah: You know, my boobie bump things.
Me: 🤣
Pimples! You are adorable. They are called nipples.
Micah: I like pimples. That's what I'm calling them.
Me: okay, then.
October 31, 2021
(while I was in Gianna's room cuddling her at bedtime comforting a cough)
Me: I'm sorry you don't feel well.
Gianna: My throat feels like there's something stuck in it. It's like I'm a stuffed animal that's been stomped on. That's exactly how I feel.
Me: Wow, you really do feel awful!
November 1, 2021
Micah: What are these called again? (pointing to his nipples as he was dressing after his shower.)
Pimples?
November 29, 2021
Gianna had stayed home sick from school and we were driving home from a very necessary post-Thanksgiving grocery shopping trip.
[looking up at the car radio screen that read: 95.5 religious music]
Gianna: {confused} says: RIDICULOUS MUSIC???
This completes volume 2.
Volume 2 book made for Christmas in December 2021
